Swimwear that flatters your face

Bible-belt America is crying out for products such as these. WholesomeWear are a new clothing company, specialising in \x91a modest line of clothing for "whenever"\x92.

Fortunately for all those water babies out there, this fledgling company have decided to launch their range in swimwear, where "the need for modesty [\x85] is greatest and the supply is almost non-existent".

The modest swimmer can now relax, safe in the knowledge that she can disport herself sea-or-poolside in swimwear which "highlights the face rather than the body". She (note no such modesty-protecting male swimwear) may choose from such desirable items as the Culotte Swimmer, the Skirted Swimmer and (for the fuller figure) the Slimming Swimmer.

If one could be bothered, one could be quite disgusted at the myriad insulting implications \x96 that the female body is to be ashamed of, that if women don\x92t cover themselves men can\x92t be expected to contain their raging hormones, that women are, once again, the gatekeepers of male sexuality \x85

Fortunately for the lazier feminist commentators amongst us, these products mock themselves. Go see. This page ought to have been created by the Landover Baptist Church.