I disagree: sex without consent is rape. It is as simple as that, and it is obvious in this case that consent was not sought or obtained. It is both participants’ responsibilty to ensure that sex is consented to before going ahead. No partner should “assume” that comatose silence implies consent; it could also mean fear or several other things. Finally, on the example you give of a man who was apparently violated against his will, I don’t know how the legal definition of rape applies (e.g. whether the legal definition involves penetration) but in any case, I agree that if the woman did not have consent (or knew him well enough to know for certain that he would consent to the act) then it was wrong. I don’t see any hypocrisy here, which you seem to be suggesting. – Catherine
Catherine Redfern, editor of The F-Word replies
I agree. Both sexes are portrayed in stereotypical, sexist ways and it is vitally important that more men realise that sexism affects them and is limiting to their freedom. Every stereotype about women implies the opposite stereotype about men and vice-versa. You might find this blog interesting as it looks specifically at sexist stereotypes affecting men: http://realmenarenot.com/blog also you might be interested in www.xyonline.net for more discussion about these topics.
In response to your motto, I would say that simply waiting will not assist change to happen, and historically things have never improved without people raising the issues and making points and actually pressing for change. I’m not sure whether this was implied by the motto, but I feel the need to point out that feminism *is* about equality between men and women, and it is also about freedom for men and women to be indivudual human beings not stereotyped into one “box” or another.
Again, I completely agree with your comments on the t-shirt slogans. The trend to denigrate boys as “stupid”, and pretending that this is somehow feminist does feminism a diservice. These kind of attitudes are not being put foward by feminists.They fall into the hands of anti-feminists who want to paint men as ignorant brutes who are slaves to testosterone and who can’t make moral choices about their own actions. – Ed