News Flash – Kate Moss has lost weight!

From that bastion of journalistic integrity the Daily Mail comes a shock report about the latest developments in Kate Moss’ figure.

Kate’s “friends” have informed the Mail that she “has lost half a stone over the past three weeks and is virtually not eating at all. Her skin is in a terrible state and her hair is ratty and unkempt.”

Some friends!

The article goes on to detail the various sources of stress in Moss’ life – the loss of many major contracts, her tempestuous relationship with Pete Doherty and his apparent reconciliation with an ex-girlfriend. I don’t know about you, but if I had lost my boyfriend and my job AND had all of this relentlessly pored over by the tabloids, I’d have probably lost my appetite too.

All of this is lavishly illustrated with photographs of Moss looking, well, pretty normal, complete with bitchy captions.

A photograph featuring Kate’s admittedly rather skinny legs demonstrates that her knees are “showing her age”. Her knees? And what a terrible sin, for a woman to show her age! Particularly when that age is a jaw-dropping 33!

In another photograph, Kate continues to shock by looking “ratty and unkempt” when she ventures out in public without wearing make up or styling her hair.

A close-up of her thighs is shown with the caption: “The ‘flawless’ supermodel: Kate shows the unforgivable signs of cellulite” Unforgivable? In what parallel universe could a former supermodel having cellulite fall into the same category of moral outrage as a mass-murdering paedophile? I already blogged a couple of weeks ago about the Mail’s reaction to JLo’s cellulite. Now, it seems, they are attacking Moss too.

Even the state of Kate’s hands is brought into question. Apparently they are too veiny. Veiny hands? They are really scraping the bottom of the barrel here.

Finally, as if we were in any doubt as to what a woman should look like, the illustrations conclude with an airbrushed photograph of a marginally plumper Moss “in more glamorous times”

So, a brief catalogue of Kate Moss’ sins:

Losing weight

Having veiny hands

Having knobbly knees

Leaving the house without make up

Failing to look as good in the flesh as in an airbrushed lingerie poster

And this is newsworthy?