[…]

Today’s issue of the Daily Mail features a profile of five middle-aged women who dress like teenagers. To be honest, I’m a bit bemused as to what is so newsworthy of this. Women daring to dress in a manner not befitting their age – shocking! They’ll be casting off their corsets next!

The article seems however to hold these women up as role models for the rest of us, featuring nauseating “beauty tips” from them. Hillie Marshall, 61, says:

I’m very fortunate, I have a fast metabolism and a very active lifestyle, which have kept my weight at around 7st throughout my adult life.

I also try to go to the gym every morning to do some cardio and weights, and when I’m in France I go for a walk every day with my husband or have a swim.

I don’t live my life by the bathroom scales, but when I feel my clothes getting tight I’ll go on the WeightWatchers diet for a few weeks.

There’s something pretty creepy about presenting a woman who has worked her entire life at staying underweight, assuming that she’s over 5ft tall, as a role model.

Jill Thornton, 53, says:

I still get whistled at by builders – they don’t know they’re whistling at a mother of three but it’s nice to get affirmation that you’re still looking good. The day they stop whistling is the day I’ll worry.

Poor Jill – what horrifically low self-esteem she must have if she requires the approval of random builders to make her feel good about her appearance. Whatever happened to being happy with the way you look yourself and regarding your own opinion as the most important, rather than giving a toss about the wolf whistles of neanderthal construction workers with sweaty arse cracks?

It’s not all bad though. Although Therese Fahey, 52, admits to fasting once a month to “cleanse her system”, she offers the following advice:

Women my age shouldn’t hide behind a mask of makeup. We should be proud of our wrinkles – they’re the evidence of the lives we’ve led.