‘Panic’ over missing women hits English countryside

Men living in English villages are in a “panic”, because of the high number of women who are leaving the countryside to live, work and play in big towns and cities, reports The Guardian.

A new campaign is aiming to sort out the problem for them. The Villages in Crisis campaign was launched after a society set up to “regenerate” a place called Alston Moor received thousands of emails from lonely men.

Not to impune the suffering of these men, but I have to question this whole campaign, which seems to be run-through with the assumption that women have a duty to stick around someplace that they don’t want to be, just to provide shagging partners, or, indeed, wives, for the local men.

Even worse:

The 10 worst blackspots will be sent a “rural entertainment package” of music and comedy gigs designed for village halls by digital channel Nuts TV, which is backing the campaign.

Yep, the answer to the problem of women fleeing the villages of England is to get Nuts TV in on the picture. The channel only launched a few weeks ago, and guess what their schedules are like? Digital Spy reports:

British model Lucy Pinder will host a ‘cultural show’ where she reads excerpts from Shakespeare and HG Wells in Book at Bedtime. Britain’s Fittest Barmaid will see the channel go on a nationwide hunt, and paranormal show Fit and Fearless will see a group of girls and spirit medium Ian Lawman seek out the UK’s spooky venues.

Anyone that turns to Nuts to attract women has got something seriously wrong with them.

Photo by Earthwatcher, shared under a Creative Commons license