The scene: me in a pub, with three male friends, T, S and A.

S: How’s J?

T: Fine. She texted me the other day, said she was just about to get a haircut for £50.

S & A: (aghast) £50?!!!

Me: Yeah, sounds about right, mine are normally about £45-£50.

S: Did you know [local barbers] have put up their price to £11?

T & A: Tsk!

Me: Oh, boo-hoo! (sups pint dismissively)

T: Actually I knew I was really bored yesterday when I started to calculate how much J would save if she just had a man’s haircut instead. I started to create a spreadsheet comparing all the costings…

All: (chortling at obsessive spreadsheet geekery)

T: Then I added a field for the inflation rate, which you can amend as things change, and calculated the total compound savings each year…

All: (guffaw)

A: If she went into a hairdressers they’d probably just charge her a special “womans’ rate” anyway regardless of the style.

Me: Yeah, exactly

S: Nah, not at [local barbers], I reckon they’d charge the same for a woman as a bloke.

T: …So then I added a column showing how much it’d be if she just bought clippers, taking into account the need to replace them every ten years or so.

All: (laughter)

Me: He he, spreadsheets are just brilliant!

T: I worked out that over a lifetime she could save about £54,000.

S & A: (stunned silence)

Me: (splutter)

Me: (drops jaw)

Me: £54,000????? (thinks what I could do with £54,000, seriously considers having a man’s haircut)

T: Yup

Me: Oh my god send me that spreadsheet, I have to blog about this.

T: Maybe I should add a column that recalculates what the savings will be worth in todays money?