Write your own sexual history

One of the many brilliant resources that I’ve come across through our sex-ed for adults project is the About.com sexuality blog.

Today they recommend an exercise about writing out your own sexual story. Not in the sense of a sexual history you might tell a doctor, or long list of conquests, but more a private diary, or opportunity to think through your experiences of sex and sexuality.

Cory Silverberg suggests some excellent questions to get started with, such as:

How has your thinking about sexual satisfaction changed over the years?

How has masturbation been influenced by having sex with others?

Have you had experiences where your body, mind, or emotions didn’t work the way you wanted them to sexually? Describe some of these times.

What were some of the sexual values you were raised with?

How have your values changed, and how have they remained the same over time?

Have you noticed any differences in your body as you’ve gotten older that impact your sex life?

Some of the questions are quite basic, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a good exercise for everyone, and I like the way those questions are put – for example “When would you say you lost your virginity?” is phrased in a way to challenge the notion this means one particular thing (penetrative sex), and might act as a gentle prompt to re-think.

Good stuff.

Photo by Paul Watson, shared under a Creative Commons license

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