[…]

…and you think it’s all about consumerism and shopping… then the lyrics of the film’s theme song “Labels or Love” by Fergie won’t do much to change your mind. May I present the full hideousness for your delectation:

(lyrics copied from one of those dodgy lyric sites, may not be 100% accurate)

Shopping for labels, shopping for love

Manolo and Louis, it’s all I’m thinking of

Shopping for labels, shopping for love

1,2,1,2,3,4 (?)

I already know what my addiction is

I be looking for labels, I ain’t looking for love

I shop for purses while I walk out the door

Don’t cry, buy a bag and then get over it

And, I’m not concerned with all the politics (?)

It’s a lot of men I know I could find another one.

Oughta know that I’m always happy when I walk out the store, store

I’m guessing Supercalifragi-sexy, nothing to be playing with

I love him, hate him, kiss him, just I’m trying to walk a mile in my kicks

(Chorus)

Love’s like a runway but which one do I love more

No emotional baggage, just replace it with Dior

Love’s like a runway, so what’s all the fussing for

Let’s stop chasing them boys and shop some more

1,2,1,2,3,4 (?)

I know I might come off as negative

I be looking for labels, I ain’t looking for love

Relationships are often so hard to tame

A Prada dress has never broken my heart before

And, ________

I’mma do the damn thing, watch me do the damn thing

Cause I know that my credit card will help me put out the flames

I’m guessing Supercalifragi-sexy, nothing to be playing with

I love him, hate him, kiss him, just I’m trying to walk a mile in my kicks

[Chorus]

Gucci, Fendi, Prada purses, purchasing them finer things

Men they come a dime a dozen, just give me them diamond rings

I’m into a lot of bling, Cadallic, Chanel and Coach

Fellas boast but they can’t really handle my female approach

Buying things is hard to say

Rocking Christian Audigier, Manolo, Polo, taking photos in my Cartier

So we can’t go all the way, I know you might hate it but

I’m a shop for labels while them ladies lay and wait for love

What can I say? Just… awful! Wrong, so very wrong on so many levels. Let’s all embrace our shopping addictions, yeah, that’s feminist, right!

Why is this relevant? Well, the series and the film is being spoken about as if it represents all women everywhere, and this is the sort of thing we’ll be told we (women) are supposed to be into: shopping, shopping, shopping.

Well, I suppose we shouldn’t have expected much more from Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas, who came up with My Humps, which Wikpedia notes was described as “one of the most embarrassing rap performances of the new millennium” and “really bad—transcendentally bad, objectively bad.”

On that note, did you catch Alanis Morrisette’s cover version of My Humps? See it. It’s very, very, good. I don’t think I’ve heard anyone sing as sarcastically as she does here. It’s a brilliant parody of the soullessness of modern pop of this type.

Before I turn myself into The F Word’s Sex and the City correspondent I’ll sign off.

Now get back to the serious stuff – go and take some action on Abortion Rights straight away!