In the third ‘Ask a Feminist’, our contributors answer questions from a woman who is seven months pregnant and needs help explaining why she wants to keep her name to her partner – and why their child won’t necessarily take his name; from a reader wondering if crafty hobbies are compatible with feminism; and from another pondering if life is easier as a “fat” or “thin” feminist
Answers are provided by regular F Word contributors, and represent only their own potentially fallible opinions. In the spirit of pluralism, we will try and work in more than one response if we can. There is no definitive ‘F Word line’ or ‘feminist line’, and our answers are given in that spirit.
Of course, we will never publish anyone’s name or identifying details. If you want to ask us something, please just use the comment link at the bottom of this page.
I am seven months pregnant, and my partner and I are in the middle of a massive disagreement about what our baby’s surname should be.
He has assumed that the baby will have his name (we’re not married), and then the other day announced that if he proposed to me it would be on the condition that I changed my name to his also!
He is a lovely man, and despite this I want to be with him. But I can’t seem to explain to him why I want to keep my name. We don’t know anyone who has not taken their husband’s name on marriage or having a baby. Do you know of anything I could give him to read that might help me make my point?
Help Needed in Naming Dilemma